remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
