I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
