White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
