now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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