So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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