I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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