im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
