I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
