I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she peed on how many people?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
