What a fucking waste of an outfit
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
