Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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