I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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