ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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