...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
