Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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