I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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