so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
