Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
