this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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