After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
