so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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