its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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