I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize