community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
