you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
