Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
