Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
