someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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