you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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