I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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