I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
