brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
