Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
