How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
