Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
