I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
