you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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