I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
