he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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