I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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