She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
