There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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