I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
