i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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