I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
