question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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