i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
