I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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