walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
