Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
